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The cats have been scratching like crazy for the last month or so. Just in case at the beginning of the month I gave them some flea treatment (the cheap stuff) and it seemed to help for a few days but then they went right back to scratching again. That was three weeks ago, and they've continued to get worse since then. They're both covered in scabs and Pluto's hair is starting to get thin around his back end where he's been chewing.

The last couple of days, Pluto has been acting OFF as well, just not his usual self. He always spends the day in my room with me (mostly) but the last two days he's been off hiding somewhere. This morning when I got up he wasn't sitting, waiting outside my room, either, which is completely out of character. For a minute I was worried that he'd died or something until I managed to locate him. Right now he's hiding somewhere again, but I don't know where. He came out this afternoon for treats, though.

In a week I'm going to be able to buy some actual ADVANTAGE flea treatment, and I'll give that a go, but I know it's not fleas because I have flea combed the shit out of both of them and come up with nothing. I also checked them for ear mites and nothing there, either. I think they just have actual MITES, but without knowing what KIND of mites giving them Advantage is just a shot in the dark.

I'm really afraid I'll have to take them to the vet, which I CANNOT afford, it's $250 EACH just to walk in the door, never mind tests, treatments and medications. I'll have to ask Mom to borrow the money, and she's already lent me so much, and she's paying for the truck to move all my belonging down to storage at Dad's place next month. It's not like the cats got sick on purpose, but she'll still be angry and I'm so very tired of her always being angry with me...

Anyway.

Last week Dr. K was supposed to call me for an telephone appointment on Tuesday and never called, so I called the office, and they said she would call me some time in the next couple days, but she didn't call then either. Yesterday they called me in the morning and asked if I could come in for a 1:30pm appointment at the office and like... yes?? I can't afford to skip an appointment like that.

So, I went in and had like an hour-long fifteen-minute appointment, because that's how all my appointments with Dr. K go, because I always have so many serious things to talk to her about. This time we spent half the time talking about my allergies and sensitivities (she's referring me to an allergist to have some testing done and I'm getting bloodwork done to test for Celiac disease) and then talked about my Fibromyalgia and chronic pain problems for the rest of the time.

I finally think I got it across to her that my back pain is SEVERE and CONSTANT, as in AGONIZING and NEVER-ENDING and she asked me a bunch of questions about WHERE the pain is the worst and WHEN the pain is the worst, and now she thinks I have Ankylosing Spondylitis (AS), which "is a chronic inflammatory disease that primarily affects the spine and other joints, causing pain, stiffness, and potential fusion of the vertebrae. Key features include inflammatory back pain, improved by activity and worse at rest, and a progressive loss of spinal flexibility that can lead to a hunched posture. AS can also lead to systemic issues like eye inflammation (uveitis), inflammatory bowel disease, and skin psoriasis."

Based on the symptoms, it sounds likely, and would also possibly explain the gastrointestinal problems I've been having for YEARS and no one seems to give a shit about, as well as the skin problems that I've just recently developed. Dr. K is sending me for bloodwork for that, as well as for an MRI on my lower back, but apparently the wait list for an MRI is like a year long so I shouldn't hold my breath while I wait. In the meantime, she prescribed me Naproxen for my back pain, because it's something that's recommended for AS pain and because I mentioned to her that back when I broke my ribs they gave me Naproxen for the pain and it helped my back IMMENSELY at the same time.

JUST ADDING TO MY HEALTH CONDITIONS, NBD, NBD.

Oh, and I also got my Breztri and Dayvigo samples while I was there, too. I still need to unpack them all and put them away, though. *shrug*

It's been like four days and I am still SO ANGRY at my brother over the message he screamed at me. All I did was point out that my previous message had been a joke and that he was being a jerk about it, and he CAME DOWN ON ME WITH THE WRATH OF GOD, you'd think I'd insulted his daughter or something ffs (I would never do that, fyi, why would I? I've never even met the kid, even though she just turned 8, I think.) And I also feel guilty because I know Mom's going to wear it on Friday when she picks him up for laundry and groceries because he can't just keep his grievances to himself, he has to blab them all over the place for everyone to hear.

But the most frustrating part is knowing that even when he DOES THAT, WHICH HE ABSOLUTELY WILL, Mom won't tell him to shut up and stop being as ass, that she doesn't want to hear it. Because I'm apparently the only one who is willing to call him on his absolute BULLSHIT, and even that is a more recent development. Everyone is afraid of his admittedly formidable temper, and/or of getting totally shut out by him, because he has a habit of blocking people who piss him off out of his life. Like, permanently. Just ask my Dad.

And as much as he royally ticks me off and frustrates me to no end with his selfishness, he IS my brother and I DO love him, and I DON'T want to spend the rest of my life with him not talking to me. So, like, what do I do here? Do I swallow down my anger and apologize for something I wasn't in the wrong on? Do I stick to my guns and risk getting frozen out? Do I just not say anything more about it and hope it all blows over with time, which, again, leaves me swallowing my anger and probably resenting him for it more and more over time? It's like being caught between a rock and a hard place except there's a rock and TWO hard places.

I just wish he could see how much his attitude and actions HURT other people. I can only hope he's better with his SECRET FAMILY that WE'RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH TO MEET, since there's a child involved on that end. I may never have met her, but I have a certain level of affection for her anyway, just knowing she's my niece. But I don't see him flipping out around her anyway, apparently he's always been good around her... then again, this is coming from HIM, so how much can we really trust it? He wouldn't say even if he DID lose his temper around her.

Anyway. Yeah. So, basically, just... still SO pissed off at my brother, and equally pissed off that no one else will call him on his shit, so it just continues. I don't get why people don't understand that his temper is getting worse as he gets older and things can't continue the way they are.

I feel like my brother acts like he was spoiled rotten or never told "no" as a child, when I absolutely know that's not true. He was raised right, but he's always had this skewed view of the world where if everything doesn't go his way, or someone disagrees with his bullshit opinion/view of the world he completely loses his shit. Everything has to revolve around him, his wants, his needs, and fuck everyone else (except his secret family in TO.)

I tried explaining that people need to fucking CALL HIM ON HIS BULLSHIT to Mom, but I don't think she wants anything to do with it. She just wants things to go smoothly, no conflict, so she never argues with him over anything. I warned her that next time they get together, she was going to hear about me finally fucking calling him out on his B.S., and she got mad at ME because apparently I wasn't supposed to do that. Sorry, I was just giving you a heads' up, not asking to get yelled at for finally doing what no one else has the balls to do.

The problem is that my brother has quite a temper, and no one wants to mess with that I think because they think he could be dangerous; and I can see that. But he's just getting worse as the years go by and it's not tolerable anymore. At least not to me.

Anyway. Moving on.

The whole thing with Juna and his new RFID auto feeder is going REALLY well so far. He's right in the habit of going to the feeder whenever he's hungry, and that's turning out to be about four times during daylight hours and 6-8 times overnight. He never eats much at a time, but it adds up, you know?

He seems to be FEELING better, and grooming more, and he appears brighter, even if he isn't gaining weight yet (it's only been two weeks, I'm sure the weight will come.) Then on Fridays he and Pluto get soft food for dinner as a treat (last night was chicken and duck formula) and he really enjoys those days as well (so does Pluto, but Pluto is a walking trash can, he would eat anything lol) even if it puts him off his kibble for a couple hours afterward.

So basically, it cost me $210 but this feeder was worth EVERY PENNY and I am still seriously considering just buying a second one for Pluto. :D

Other than that...

I'm still working on TKA because September is 35k TKA Challenge month, but I'm up to 22,369 words so far and not even close to done, and I'm having flashbacks to JULY TKA Challenge because I am not going to get this project put to bed by the end of September. I literally have no idea how long TKA is going to end up being, at this point, but probably at least 150k, which is utterly ridiculous. Assuming it gets picked up by an agent/publisher I'll probably have to pare it down quite a bit because this is ridiculous.

I mean, I'm having fun WRITING IT, and it would KILL ME to cut parts out, but realistically I know that's what I'll probably have to do. There's just so much that I want to include, storyline-wise, I'm having trouble leaving anything out. =/