into kippy's brain

 this is my letterboxd report of brokeback mountain directed by ang lee.
this is the link to the report

i watched it in theaters for the 20th anniversary and i couldn't help but not understand it very well. the plot was good and i liked that, but i mean in a cinema way.

some things i liked in the movie were the scenery. i really liked the aesthetic of it all, being in that small little place. i loved the clothes and cars, and i would kill to be in that little world. the guys were hot too. rest in piece, heath ledger. you were so fine and i love you.

some things i didn't like were the way the guys kept getting with women. i get that, at the time, they kinda had to and they didn't know any better, but they just pissed me off tbh. not just jack and ennis, but david harbour's character randall, who was married to anna faris' character lashawn malone. ennis as a character pissed me off so bad. completely emotionally disconnected and unavailable to jack, to his wife, michelle williams' character alma, alma jr, jenny, and linda cardellini's cassie. um!!!! you were so disconnected from the worl your boyfriend, girlfriend, and wife broke up with you!!!! another thing i didn't like was how jack died. i hated that and i felt so bad. i think about it a lot since it's such a grey area. if he died at a gas station, wouldn't someone see it? and even if he didn't, there's no report he didn't, which is futher evidence that he didn't die there. if the guys that killed him worked at a gas station, that would probably explain what happened. or maybe his baddie wife, anne h

what i meant earlier by i couldn't understand it in a cinema way was that i have a habit of picking apart things in movies to determine foreshadowing or whatever, like parallels or patterns. the only thing i was able to figure out was the colors in their clothes. i think when a character begins to grow cold, they wear blue, like denim. when they're more exposed emotionally, they wear beige. not sure if this applies all the time or to anyone except the guys, but it's something i saw.

(06.28.2025)

Jim, It's Too Loud (4768 words) by kippybug
Chapters: 3/3
Fandom: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: James T. Kirk/Spock, James T. Kirk/Leonard "Bones" McCoy, James T. Kirk & Spock, James T. Kirk & Leonard "Bones" McCoy, James T. Kirk & Leonard "Bones" McCoy & Spock, Leonard "Bones" McCoy/Spock, Pavel Chekov & Hikaru Sulu, Montgomery "Scotty" Scott & Nyota Uhura
Characters: James T. Kirk, Leonard "Bones" McCoy, Spock (Star Trek), Pavel Chekov, Hikaru Sulu, Nyota Uhura, Montgomery "Scotty" Scott
Additional Tags: Smut, My First Smut, My First Fanfic, Anal Sex, Oral Sex, Double Penetration, McSpirk - Freeform, mckirk - Freeform, McCock - Freeform, spones - Freeform, spirk, Gay Sex, Say Gex, Bottom James T. Kirk, be honest he was bottom energy all three movies, such a brat for what, jesus kirk, Top Leonard "Bones" McCoy, Top Spock (Star Trek), Mild begging, no beta we die like amanda grayson, no beta we die like captain pike, Not Beta Read, Established Relationship, Established James T. Kirk/Spock, Eventual Smut, Aftercare, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping
Series: Part 1 of star trek :P

Summary:
title is a reference to the good mythical morning clip of rhett and his dog shaun

"shaun, it's too loud. shaun, it's too loud. shaun, it's too loud," as shaun drums into the clear plasic enclosure

after a whole day of being a brat on the bridge, jim takes spock from the back. unfortunately, he is being too loud, and bones hears it. well, more like he'd been listening. he overrides the lock on the door (this is when i start making shit up about sci-fi vintage space tech) and busts in with something to shut him up with.

"recycled next week" is a ff i wrote on AO3 in regard to scotty and bones. it's an angst and i wrote it in the middle of the night. it was actually a scrapped chapter in a different story on AO3 called "jim it's too loud" that i didn't know how to write afterwards because it was too angsty. technically, it's my second ever published ff on AO3, but it was scrapped off a larger work, so it's actually my first finished work.

recycled next week (1194 words) by kippybug

Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Leonard "Bones" McCoy & Montgomery "Scotty" Scott, referenced scones, minor scones, Scones - Relationship
Characters: Leonard "Bones" McCoy, Montgomery "Scotty" Scott
Additional Tags: Light Angst, Angst, One Shot, Ficlet, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Leonard "Bones" McCoy Angst, fuck my life
Series: Part 1 of star trek :P

Summary:
scones. mcscotty. i dont care what you call it. they are cute in my head. loosely related to jim it's too loud

end of quarter party and bones is being flaky again. it disappoints scotty every time it happens even though it happens a lot. probably nothing serious will happen. just me talking about my feelings and saying they're bones'. because i don't like being responsible for them and neither does he, but he's not real.

 i don't really blog on here like i used to when i first made the account, but i'll give a quick recap of the big stuff that happened

i got a car, i finished all three rebooted star trek movies, my graph is growing steadily, i'm a little happier, i'm getting really into 50's stuff thanks to the original cast of star trek, music stresses me out because i have a concert soon, i sit with a new group of friends at lunch (and unfortunately they're all smokers and potheads), my friend got busted for smoking weed, the time on my computer is never correct for some reason, so ignore whatever time it says, i watched the first episode of arcane the other night for my friend, i'm probably gonna watch star trek in chronological order soon, i plan to get a job in the summer but not sure where, i'm ending this year full of self-care and joy and no worries for assignments even though i have like eight things not done, and i'm gonna go see the movie "neighborhood watch" after class today, of which stars jeffrey dean morgan and jack quaid, both of which happen to be in the boys.

 rn i'm on the bus home from chicago that's going back home. it wasn't awful, but the st. patrick day's parade was incredibly painful. i cried a little bit because my back was hurting. i marched bass drum for the first time since two years ago, and needless to say, i don't miss it whatsoever. we got sandwiches and i bit into advil by accident. it's hot on the bus but i'm fine. i'm really thirsty. i almost got a bingo on my chicago trip event bingo made by my friend izzy. my roomates got switched around and we ended up only having three people in our group, which meant i got a bed to myself. my roomates were a little bit questionable in regards to reputation and drama, but they were nice when i was with them. i'm getting really into star trek now in place of supernatural, so i think things will be fine. i also have this graph i would love to talk about, so maybe i'll talk about it when the time comes.

Yesterday, we had to load shit out to the auditorium at my school, so now our jazz band doesn’t have any chairs or stands. It doesn’t matter because our director won’t make us do anything because he doesn’t want to either. My brother wont shut up on the drums however. My phone’s battery is slowly dying and i might have to ask for a charger. I have rehearsal tonight and i literally don’t want to go bt its my grade. Gradually grieving bad jared, and it’s getting better, but it’s really not. I’m still sad, but whatever.

 i woke up and got on tumblr cus who doesnt, and i was going through one of jared padalecki's tags because i was bored. eventually, i scroll far enough to find an anti-jarpad post about racism and things and i was very taken aback. i just woke up and wanted to ghost through tumblr, but this has caught my attention. the post was basically a meme of someone crying and the caption said "racist people when you tell them texas pride is racist." the tags followed with anti-jared and anti-jensen and things related as well as "this about jared stans btw." obviously, i was very very confused because i didn't know what he did, so i'll run down everything i found out that may/may not be true. i was very stressed out and didn't know what to do, so i didn't check many places for the actual facts of it. even then, it's still in the air about if they're an issue or not.

 

> "jared doxxed several people on twitter with faces and place of work and each time it led to death threats, and legitimate dangers to the place of work and people involved. many times he never apologized, but simply deleted the tweets" -reddit, u/AvatarDang
> "he made fun of philip seymour hoffman's death, calling him stupid and selfish for overdosing. many people find that hypocritical behavior considering his public work in mental health"
> "he was arrested for drunkenly assaulting someone at a bar" i knew about that one a day prior to reading that on reddit
> "he took to social media and publicly called robbie tompson (a past writer for supernatural) a coward for being involved with jensen's show "the winchesters" as well as making it public known he was told not to. he said he was drunk when he said that and talked to jensen before taking it to twitter."
> "he got a second amendment tattoo weeks/days after a shooting in uvalde in 2021. people found it through convention images before and after the shooting. the actual image of the tattoo has been used as a "texas pride"/"come and take it" rhetoric in relation to guns with questionable histories surrounding anti-mexican history, but it's assumed he probably did not get it for that reason."
> "there are plenty of places including ONTD on livejournal that includes a lot of awful stuff about him. not only that, but you will get some eye opening non-fandom based opinons on him that dont feel like you're in an echo chamber" -reddit, u/highd
> i feel like it's worth mentioning that there was also a poll that asked why people think jared didn't show up to geeks for harris, and the options were:
-he was excluded because jensen wanted to stay away from him, as usual
-he was excluded by kripke after jared's cringe pr to get a role in the boys
-he's disliked by the spn cast
-he's disliked by the boys cast
-he's disliked by both show's casts
-he's pro-trump
> in short, the pro-trump option won the poll (tumblr, u/whengeorgiawentblue)
> other posts say similar things, like a post from u/hyped02 on tumblr
> "i gotta say it's great seeing the jared fans melting down at their guy being exposed as a trump loving maga. i mean pretty much everyone always knew he was an asshole and a scumbag of a human but not we have confirmation and she few fans he has left can't handle it. it's a joy to see jared destroying himself he's basically kissing whatever hope he had for anymore of an acting career goodbye. hollywood hates trump and anyone who supports him gets on the blacklist to never be hired again. though i think jared knew his career was over already cause he can't act for shit and the only friends he could force into hiring were his "friends." i'm loving jared's destruction keep going i'll grab the popcorn"
>jared padalecki is either intentionally or unintentionally homophobic. constantly speaking over jensen and misha regarding destiel and their characters and character dynamic is completely out of step. him saying supernatural was never about 'gay sex' is correct because it wasn't/ but he says it in a way that undermines destiel and queer viewers.
> there's also this account on tumblr i just found centric to receipts of things that happened at u/jarjarpadapoo

some other not-jared stuff VV

>misha supports israel, but isn't anti palestine. when talking about it on social media, he never describes the situation as a genocide or use other words similarly. his constant claims that he's neutral but wants a ceasefire don't mean much to op. some people in the comments said that he was sympathizing with jewish people who are blamed for things like this, but i care not to find the post to decode it
> danneel ackles is rude to jensen's fans
> bibros drama setting up things to harass and hurt people
> what is even bibros is it wincest
> frown

idk i'm really stressed out about it, i don't necessarily know what's real or not about it, and i have to leave in a minute for my friend's party.
i might still be into supernatural, but only really lean towards jensen and mish...

What's going on? vvv

This weekend, my family and I went to Atlanta for the weekend for a small family reunion. We've already had, like, 3 this (school) year and it's just a small thing with a lot of people for a few hours for Lunar New Year. Right now, I'm waiting with my brother for my parents to get back because we're about to go eat brunch. They said they'll be back in about 10-ish minutes so that we're out of here by 10:00. We haven't been to Atlanta in a while, and it's a little refreshing coming back and not having to stay the night at someone's spare guest room of which I don't even know the name of. I was originally pissed that the trip was all this weekend, and I would come back before school opened up because I would be tired, but school's gonna be out until Tuesday due to sickness. I have an essay in English that I haven't written yet and was due last week, but I might just use AI on it since I wasn't there the day we did it.

Thoughts? vvv

I'm starting to really like older forms of media, like the retro-ish vibe of the early 2000's. I think I just have a problem with thinking I literally am Sam Winchester, and with that, liking y2k and having a Dell computer and shaggy hair and an odd family dynamic minus a caring and mostly normal brother. It just feels nicer in a way to interact with such simple ways compared to Instagram or TikTok that have far too many issues. It's a nice change of pace when everything isn't so overwhelming. I don't even have to worry about being popular or famous because it really doesn't matter. I probably won't be, so I don't even care. Of course, I watch what I say and make sure it's nothing TMI or sensitive information, but I don't have to worry about things I normally would. Maybe this is just my way of infiltrating my unhealthy escapism into my life and pretending I am in Supernatural or some shit, but there's no consequences as far as I can see. I'm just having fun, and if I also correlate it with SPN, so be it.

HIIII I DONT KNOW WHAT TO SAY HERE!!!!! first posts on any form of social media are always a little scary.